One year ago we got our first “very early” glimpse of Cub. I struggled a lot those first initial weeks, wavering between anxiety and excitement, and just sheer shock. But also a lot of worry that I was going to miscarry and that I wasn’t going to be able to see my own doctor until the new year.

I will forever be grateful to my sister, Jessica for listening to my fears and offering to get me in early for an ultrasound at First Image where she works. I remember that day like it was yesterday and all those fears, anxiety, and shock, fled when I saw his blurry little body on the screen and I just cried tears of relief and tears of love that I didn’t even know I had yet for him. I remember telling Josh that I thought he looked like a boy and just how in love with him I was.

Thanksgiving is a particularly difficult holiday for me. But while I still continue to struggle each year, this one brings something a little new and redeeming. I can’t help but feel thankful when I gaze into his eyes. Someone who I never planned to happen, was made by our creator and I got to gaze on his new creation a year ago and now he’s in my arms grabbing my face. This baby continues to heal me and fill me with gratitude.

Chelsia, @chels_catzinthekitchen