As a young unbeliever looking for love and trying to fit in, I made poor choices which led to an unplanned pregnancy in high school. Since my boyfriend had broken up with me when I told him I was pregnant, and I couldn’t tell my parents, I was told my only option was abortion. I was told abortion would get rid of all my problems and my life would go back to normal. So, I skipped school and my friend drove me out of town to the abortion clinic. After the nightmare that I went through, over time I was plagued with guilt, shame, anger, fear, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, to name a few. I had no idea that the things I was feeling were because of the abortion. I didn’t receive adequate pre-abortion counseling and didn’t understand the possible intense, emotional responses I could experience. Though I was told my life would go back to normal, my life was anything but normal, so I had to learn to bury my feelings to survive.

As I continued in a very unhealthy lifestyle, the following year I became pregnant again, and I had a second abortion. I was numb and simply going through the motions. After marriage and the birth of my first daughter, my struggles increased. In September of 1992, I attended a Billy Graham crusade in Portland, OR. As I listened to him speak, I knew in my heart God was the only one that could save me. That night I committed my life to Jesus and started attending church for the first time. After the birth of my second daughter, the Lord began to show me that I needed to deal with the choices I had made in my past. The grief and regret started to surface that I had buried for the last 8 years.

When I confided in a friend about my abortions, she told me about a post-abortion support group called Heart. As I went through the group, God did an amazing work of healing in my heart. I no longer lived with guilt and shame. Over time, the long list of other symptoms that had plagued me were gone. When I experienced God’s love, forgiveness, and healing in my life, it made me realize the importance of receiving training to come alongside other women in their journey to heal. Even though society says that it’s a woman’s right to choose, many women suffer a spiritual and emotional crisis when they choose abortion. They often feel they have committed the unforgiveable sin, but that is not true.

In Redeemed, it’s an amazing blessing and privilege for me to be able to come alongside women and witness how God transforms their lives over the course of the study. I love supporting, encouraging, and discipling women. Abortion does not disqualify women from being loved, forgiven, and healed by God. It’s His desire to heal every woman so that we can all see ourselves the way He sees us and live a blessed and abundant life of freedom.

In April of 1997, I found out I was pregnant.  I was initially fine with it, but I was just stating a new job at this same time. My new boss made it very clear that I could not do the job pregnant. Just like that I decided abortion was the right option for me at that time. I was very ignorant to the truth about my baby’s development. I had heard all about abortion being safe, easy, and my choice all through high school. Friends had done it and they seemed fine. If I went early enough then it was no big deal, so I believed.

My time at the abortion clinic is foggy. I do remember them making a clear effort to hide the ultrasound screen from me. And directly after having the dealation medication inserted, I knew I had made a huge mistake, but It was too late. My life turned upside down after that horrific day; April 19^th, 1997. I would never be the same girl that walked into that clinic.

I only lasted a few months at that job. I shut down all my feelings, so I could survive. I lived in denial, doing everything in my power to forget what I had done. But, on April 1^st, 2000, I was pregnant again. This time I was adamant, I was not doing “that” again.

During my first ultrasound, with a room full of family, the realization of what I actually allowed to happen in 1997 took my breath away. There He was Walker D., dancing in my womb. He was fully formed, fully alive and fully loved by all watching but I was horrified all at the same time.

They lied. At 8 weeks, it’s not a clump of cells or early enough to not matter. It is a fully formed baby, my baby, with a heartbeat. This realization caused me to shut down emotionally; completely.

I went on to have 3 amazing sons. I never really believed that I deserved them, and struggled with bonding because of my flawed thinking due to the trauma of the abortion.

On Easter of 2006, I was introduced the Jesus Christ for the first time, and I said yes to a personal and lifelong relationship with him. I needed him more than I could have fathomed before that day. As I learned God’s word, I thought about my abortion. About how it felt and what it did to my heart and soul. I needed the pain to stop.

It was Jesus that led me to a clinic where I would go on to serve the women in crisis, in my community for almost 10 years. But before that I needed to heal from the trauma of my abortion. It was in that Forgiven and Set free Bible study that my healing began, and I was called to lifelong ministry with women who have had abortions.  It is an honor to walk with each woman that comes to group. Jesus has healing for all his sons and daughters traumatized by abortion.  He wants to heal you too.

Hi my name is Tina Fortin, founder of Garden of Hope Ministries. I have the privilege of leading and discipling people through our Hope Heals abortion recovery ministry where I get to witness God heal the heartbreak of abortion and provide a personal assurance of His forgiveness over abortion.

My story starts with my dad and mom. My dad enlisted in the army and served in Vietnam where he met my mom and my oldest sister was born. He brought them to America for a better life. I was their third born daughter. My family was my security and foundation. I had somewhat of a catholic upbringing and believed God in my mind. We didn’t know Jesus personally though. By the time I was thirteen, my parents were really struggling in life and marriage and were looking for love in the wrong places. My mom divorced my dad and left us. I followed their lead and by fourteen got pregnant. We told the boyfriend’s sister and trusted her to help.

She dropped me off at Planned Parenthood. They didn’t get my parents permission or teach me other options or show an ultrasound. I remember lying on the table and hearing the vacuum sound that ended my child’s life. Then, I was sent out to wait for my ride. The rest of that dark day, I layed on my bed numb of any emotion. Life went on and I developed an eating disorder that I used throughout my teen years to feel some sense of control. I was a hypochondriac and always thought I was dying. The abortion and lies of the enemy heightened my insecurities and lack of worth and my soul struggled.

But, life began to look up when I was twenty and I met the man I would marry. We were blessed with three wonderful daughters. But, after our third born; marriage had become difficult and I went into a depressive state and battled severe and debilitating anxiety. I know now that I had a longing to fill the holes in my heart for my unborn baby and to know Jesus as Savior. Thankfully, I began to write in a journal to God pouring out my troubles and tears asking Him questions why I felt the way I did and for help with my marriage and parenting.

God brought two new friends into my life that loved me for Jesus and were good listeners and vulnerable to share their life struggles. At the age of 36, the Holy Spirit finally and thankfully opened the eyes of my heart to hear the gospel and be invited to pray to trust Jesus as my LORD and Savior. When I did, It was as if He breathed new life into me and picked me out of the black pit of my sin and the enemy’s bind. Through God’s Word, He began changing me from the inside out as a wife, a mom, and His daughter. He allowed me to hear His teachings about the sanctity of human life and during those times I was praying asking Him to reveal my sin and to teach me how to share the gospel. In His sovereign grace, Jesus answered these prayers by revealing my abortion from over 20 years ago and my daily sin. It was a very grievous time yet I was greatly comforted by God’s presence and kindness. He led me to be blessed through First Image’s Heart abortion healing program in 2014. From there I became involved in peaceful and prayer sidewalk outreach and evangelism for three years. I also worked as assistant to the director at Hope 360 Pregnancy Clinic in Oregon City for 5 years where I started leading abortion healing groups. Then in 2021, the LORD led me to start Garden of Hope Ministries.